You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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