totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
