My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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