we should wear snuggies to the strip club
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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