He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
