I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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