I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Drake has all the answers
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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