i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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