Is it normal to miss your booty call?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
