In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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