What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
