i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
