I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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