she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
