Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
