At least make sure they are 18
Why
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
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