He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
