at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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