Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I just forgot I was standing up.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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