Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
