Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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