Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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