I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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