We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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