you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
