I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I've blown a few things in my day
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Randomize
