i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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