hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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