Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
as a side note pls kill me
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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