He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
