I showed him my bush... on skype.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
