Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
