yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
