So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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