I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
