oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
