just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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