when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
