so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
