So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
