Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
