I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
