Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
