I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
