why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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