ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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