Need sex. Gaining weight.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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