we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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