oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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