I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
