let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Randomize
